


Puppies are Cute

by scratchedagain



Category: Forgotten Realms, The Legend of Drizzt Series - R. A. Salvatore
Genre: I dunno where this came from, Post-Hero, Silly, puppies are cute!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 13:34:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8753653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scratchedagain/pseuds/scratchedagain
Summary: Artemis and Dahlia chat over lunch and Artemis tries to explain Jarlaxle's charm.





	

**Author's Note:**

> It has been a very, very long time since I last wrote anything creatively. Forgive me if this is bad, but it popped into my head and wouldn't go away.

Artemis was certain most of Dahlia’s tales of her recent years at sea were – at best – exaggerated. The sheer number and scale of the battles and monsters she recounted was absurd, but given their own adventures together had been only barely short of insane he’d chosen not to question her on it. Besides, it had been an excellent morning spent with her, wandering through Luskan’s markets before stopping at an inn overlooking the boardwalk to have lunch. They had sat outside to enjoy the what promised to be one of the last few warm days of Autumn while they ate, staying to talk long past finishing their meals, bits of desert left on their plates. Now they sat in quiet comfort as they looked out at the people walking along the boardwalk.

The sun seemed to glint off one person in particular off in the distance. Heavily jeweled and clothed in questionably colored clothes, he stood out rather noticeably even before one noticed his black skin. Artemis took note of him as he and his equally dark companion walked slowly toward the inn where he and Dahlia sat. He turned back to her to speak, but she had also noticed the drow.

“You are traveling with Jarlaxle again? Really?” She looked as if she couldn’t decide whether to be amused or chastising and so had settled somewhere in between. Artemis sighed and shrugged.

“He must be the most charming man in all the world, to have convinced you so.”

“All the charm of an incontinent puppy,” Artemis muttered, waving over the waitress to bring another drink. Dahlia snorted and laughed, nearly knocking over her own drink in the process. She shook her head and settled back into her chair, gesturing for him to explain. He waited until another cup of hot coffee had been placed before him before continuing.

“You know what I mean. Like an incontinent puppy – one that follows you around, absolutely everywhere, just because it likes you. And it doesn’t _mean_ to make you angry, it just can’t help itself and since there’s no sense in trying to punish the damn thing you just resign yourself to continually wiping piss off your boots.” Dahlia was laughing hard by the time Artemis finished his little rant, clearly enjoying both the description and his irritation. He glared at her. “Can you think of a better way to describe him?”

“Oh no!’ She waved her hand at him, “That’s perfect. Only, have you thought to tell him this?”

“No! The damn drow would completely ignore the insult in favor of pointing out that humans think puppies are cute and therefore I must think the same of him. And then he’d start flirting with me as incessantly as he does with everyone else!” Dahlia was still laughing at him, so Artemis stole the last of her desert in retribution. She only laughed harder as he continued to glare, only now at the bit of pie he’d taken – he hated cherries. His expression shifted to a wicked smirk as he glanced up to see Jarlaxle walking up to their table, Zaknafein in tow. Jarlaxle looked at him quizzically before turning to Dahlia. “What are you laughing about?”

She chuckled and waved back at Artemis, “Ask him.” Jarlaxle turned back to Artemis, who had schooled his face to be perfectly blank. He thought a moment, unsure how best to explain before deciding he really didn’t need to.

“Woof.”

 


End file.
